Preacher's Kids and Church Services

You know all those stories about the preacher's kids being the worst behaved children in church? I used to think they were largely unjust... until my own children haplessly fell into that category. Add to that the stigma of being missionary kids, and it is enough to cause palpitations to even the most stalwart mother heart. Church services in El Eden are always an adventure. Our building is too small; there are no restrooms, (don't even ask about a nursery); there are no benches, (only plastic stacking chairs that make raucous noises on the cement floor when bumped, which is frequently); and every service attracts a great assortment of village children who have nothing more entertaining to do than to come and watch the "gringos" have church. Now I don't begrudge those little guys at all- I really have faith that they are learning something worthwhile, and sitting in church is definitely one of the more profitable choices of daily activities.

However.

My tribe, especially those under the age of ten, is still in the training process where church is concerned. With my hubby involved in every service -either leading worship or preaching- it falls to me to maintain order on The Brechbill Row. Sometimes things are fairly calm: Derek actually looks at the speaker and doesn't ask Embarrassing Questions in a Loud Whisper. Mandie is content with her doll baby and snuggles on my lap. Tony remembers to stand up with the rest of the congregation and follows along in the songbook... Then there are the other times.

The "other times" frequently take place when Freddy, Elvis, and Henry (three little characters as colorful as their names) choose to sit behind us. This week we had special meetings for four nights which gave unprecedented opportunities for training, or, entertainment if you are not a parent. Last night the church house was especially crowded when another local church joined us for services. As soon as I herded my tribe to their seats, the Three Characters dashed in with great gusto and a good deal of noise and flopped on the chairs behind us. The show began at once. There was lots of talking, shuffling, pinching, humming, squirming, and punching, accompanied by large quantities of giggles. Well, my tribe simply doesn't have any resistance to that sort of amusement and in no time there was a full-fledged competition in progress. With some shuffling, I managed to get both my boys seated in front of me instead of beside me which lowered the noise to a dull roar, as Andrew would say. The threesome behind me kept up a steady stream of distractions in spite of my dark looks and the much hissing from the visiting ladies behind them. Worse yet was their mimicry of the brother in the back row who was being particularly blessed. Every few minutes he emitted a hearty "Glo-o-o-o-ria a Dios!" which was immediately repeated in the row behind me. "Glo-o-o-ria a Dios! A-a-amen! Oooooh Señor!" I alternately considered spanking them, offering prizes for total silence, and lecturing them on the sin of mockery. Then I decided that they were a battle I wasn't called to fight so I prayed for wisdom instead. Fellowship time after church wasn't much better as my boys were ready to vent their energy and the Characters were all too willing to induce them. I remind myself that some day very soon they will be grown-ups, reminiscing about "these times"... and I wonder what will they remember???

So today Derek was making his usual complaint about "those boys that always fight with me," and prescribing various punishments for their behavior. As he detailed the many injustices he has suffered because of them, I sighed inwardly and wondered how to show a four-year-old the deception of his own heart. Jen also stood by listening and not succeeding too well at hiding her amusement. "Many are the afflictions of the righteous," was her conclusion to the matter.

Oh, but a sense of humor and a hearty laugh does wonders for a mother's perspective!