On Listening

I think it was Dietrich Bonhoeffer who once said, "The first service that we can perform for anyone is to listen." Peter Dyck quotes this in his book, Up From the Rubble, and goes on to challenge the reader on the difference between being a servant or merely performing a service. It is the difference between doing and being; an act versus an attitude; it is character rather than performance. True servants give themselves along with their gift.

This is a lesson that I am presented with constantly in mission life. It is all too easy for me to merely give away my "good deeds" while tenaciously guarding myself. Thankfully God is infinitely patient with me, and again and again He gives me opportunities to lay down my life for others. I am learning... slowly.

No one ever told me that the one of the first and most important things a missionary needs to learn is to listen. I believe every aspiring missionary would do well to take some intense listening classes. (Ok, is there such a thing??!) There are days when it seems that all we do is listen to people: financial problems, struggling families, marriages in distress, hurting youth, children with questions... Many of them are not looking for answers so much as a sympathetic, listening ear; someone who truly cares. And this is not a gift I can hand out like the sweet rolls and coffee that accompany many of our conversations. When I ask God to teach me how to listen with my heart instead of only with my head, spirits are connected and true fellowship ensues. Yes, this giving of oneself is costly... but it is the way of Jesus, and it is the way of JOY!

Not what we give, but what we share,
For the gift without the giver is bare;
Who gives himself with his alms feeds three,
Himself, his hungering neighbor, and Me.
(James Russell Lowell)